After asking umaloba if was there any sign's ukuba kukhona ayekwenza okungabe kwabonisa ukuba uyajola. umaloba wathi yena akazange akunanzelele...mina ngithi baba if ekubalekele nothing you can do and nothing is going to change her mind even if uyamu bona. Wakhetha yena ukuba akasakuthandi and you can not force anyone to love you, sengitsho lanxa kulabantwana. wena ngcina abantwana bakho and ukukhula kwabantwana akulutho. Batshele abantwana ukuba umama wabo wahamba if baku age aba understander khona if bebancane i will say find a way of telling them without you compromising too much truth and abantwana abalutho ukukhohlwa and what they need now is your love and show them you love them and stop stressing ngoba if you get stressed too much it does affect them too, at home and school. Be strong for them. Let that not stop you to move on with your life when that time comes and yes you are right to be angry but just keep in mind that your anger does not lead you to do something that you will regret tomorrow and all you ought to think of are your kids more than anything. You have tried to find her and all invain mina ngithi just leave as it is... if yena efuna ukubuya uzobuya and that is when you can ask those why and what happened.ukumdinga akusizi ngoba you will be more heart broken when you find her and she regret you again. Okumele kukuvuse ekuseni yilaba bantwana to make them better kids and to have better lifes akuqali ngawe baba ukuba yisingle father can you imagine those with wife who have passed on they dont look themselves down but look up to God and move on with life.
The other thing is ungamthola and she agrees to come back what are the chances that she is not going to do it again and above all becareful ngezifo ezingaphandle ungazibona usuzilethela zona ungcine utshiye abantwana bakho besuffer more without both parents. Ngiyabonga mina. If is too hard plz seek for counselling for both you and the kids too. Inkinga yikuba lawe uwuzange wayakubo bakwazi njengo mkhwenyana and i was going to advice you to go and tell them abakubo ukuba she is no longer with you for the sack of security in case anything happen to her and babuye bakusole ngoba njalo ulabantwana naye. if ubusaziwa by anyone owangakibo ngingathi bazise ukuze ubeclean. Antizah

How do you have 3kids without paying lobola were you going to do so really? I don't support what she has done but you also have a hand in her leaving if she says the reason she left was because she found someone to commit to her.